Teen girls generally enter their adolescent years as giddy, rambunctious, talkative, young women interested in just about everything that keeps their attention. And then, Bang, something happens, something deceptive you cannot put your finger on that doesn’t happen overtly. But slowly, your usually sweet sensitive girl, the little girl who loved to be tucked in at night and loved your hugs may recoil from your touch, especially in public. She starts to share her deepest thoughts and dreams with her new best friend rather than you. She becomes obsessed with her body, clothing and even boys. She may drop out of soccer, softball or cheerleading, quit the youth group, and declare that her friends are her family.
As she begins her hormonal changes, her moods will take the entire family on a rollercoaster ride as she reaches the height of her excitement when the phone rings and yet barely survives a night at home with her parents and siblings. It is hard not to ask yourself where you may have gone wrong. You are not alone in this quest. Although some rebellion is normal, there is no excuse for outright anger towards you and her siblings.
The Downward Spiral of Anger in Teen Girls
For teen girls, they must not only adjust to physical changes, but they are also undergoing hormonal and internal physical changes that will lead to the onset of menstrual cycles, which is often marked by moodiness and depression. With this instability, rash decisions can be made and poor choices will follow. This downward cycle becomes a vacuum that some girls have a difficulty coming out of. Because this situation is truly not who the teen girl is, she becomes even more moody and frustrated, setting off anger and potential aggravation that can turn into violence if escalated.
Does your teen tend to yell and scream or say hurtful, mean, disrespectful things? Do they throw things, kick or punch walls, break stuff? Hit someone, hurt themself, or push and shove others around?
For most people who have trouble harnessing a hot temper, reacting like this is not what they want. They feel ashamed by their behavior and don’t think it reflects the real them, their best selves. Managing anger is about developing new skills and new responses. As with any skill, like playing basketball or learning the piano, it helps to practice over and over again.
When to Ask for Extra Help
Sometimes anger is a sign that more is going on. People who have frequent trouble with anger, who get in fights or arguments, who get punished, who have life situations that give them reason to often be angry may need special help to get a problem with anger under control.
Here are some signs that your teen may need help in dealing with their anger:
- They have a lasting feeling of anger over things that have either happened to them in the past or are going on now.
- Irritable, grumpy, or in a bad mood more often than not.
- Consistently angry or raging at themself.
- Anger that lasts for days or makes them want to hurt themself or someone else.
- Often in fights or arguments
Anger is a strong emotion. It can feel overwhelming at times. Learning how to deal with strong emotions — without losing control — is part of our program that restores troubled teens to health. It takes a little effort, a little practice, and a little patience, and we’re here to help your teen effectively deal with their anger.